Goodbye Social Media, Hello Sanity

Why Meta and I are never, ever, ever getting back together.

Hey everybody, it’s Jill here.

I did it. After at least a year of contemplation, I finally pulled the plug on Facebook and Instagram. I didn’t just delete the apps. I didn’t just deactivate my accounts. I deleted them completely. Done. Gone. No going back unless I set up entirely new accounts.

I know I’m not alone in feeling conflicted about social media, so I thought I’d share what made it hard to leave (why it took a year+), what made me finally do it, and how it’s been going.

What made me wait so long? Mostly feeling obligated as a writer to “have an author platform” (especially if I want any chance of getting a book contract in the future), but also FOMO—I was afraid I’d miss out on important information and happenings. I was afraid I’d feel disconnected or that I might be forgotten or left behind somehow. I also really liked the Facebook memory feature, especially when it re-shared hilarious videos of my very mischievous son.

What made me finally do it? Noticing how bad my body, mind, and mood felt every time I spent too long scrolling. Being a mark for advertisers. Being a mark for sketchy advertisers. Being shown accounts I never chose to follow. Being FORCED to follow political accounts I never chose to follow. Mark Fuckerberg saying his company needed more male energy and then promptly dismantling all DEI initiatives at Meta. Bad news. Fake news. Realizing I kept in touch with most of my friends and family outside of social media anyway. Realizing the connection it once made me feel had almost entirely evaporated.

How’s it going? FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. I’ve had zero regrets and zero FOMO. I feel empowered now that I’m not getting sucked into the doom-scroll-habit. I feel free not having my eyeballs monetized (and not seeing 1000’s of ads for a thing I stupidly clicked on one time!). I feel less stressed, angry, and anxious not being exposed to constant bad news or fake news. I feel a sense of pride for making a healthy (for me) decision. I feel connected to my integrity for not supporting Meta. My Facebook memories are gone, but I still have my photos and videos if I want to take a stroll down memory lane AND I’m being more present in my daily life which means I feel less need to revisit the old days anyway.

All in all, I can honestly say this has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I am still on LinkedIn for professional stuff, so if you want to connect with me there, you can find me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillstoddardphd/ I post similar content there that I write about here, mostly in video format. It feels like part of my job and not a toxic time-suck, but if that ever changes, I’ll be breaking up with LI too.

If social media has been feeling less-than-healthy for you, what’s one change you can make to take care of yourself and your mental health? If you opt to leave, I’d love to hear how it goes!

Clinician’s Corner

If you want to learn from Esther Perel, John Kabat-Zinn, David Kessler, and me, consider joining us at the world-renowned psychotherapy conference, Psychotherapy Networker Symposium coming to Washington DC March 20-23rd.

I will be presenting on psychological flexibility/ACT and Imposter "Syndrome."

Check out the complete lineup and workshops, and register easily here:

https://i.snoball.it/p/DfRO/l/1

PLUS save an extra $50 when you use promo code SYM50

My feel-goody of the month

Years ago, a friend in LA had a top hat I was totally obsessed with. At one point, he came down to visit me in San Diego and gave me the top hat to keep. Best. Gift. Ever. I was pumped! But somewhere along the way I lost it. I was totally crushed but eventually kind of forgot about it. My husband, however, never forgot about it and recently, for no real reason other than to make me smile, he bought me a new (and very high quality!) top hat. Do I have anywhere or any reason to don a top hat? Absolutely not. But next time you see me on zoom, I just might wear it anyway.

My gratitude of the month

This month I am grateful to The Harlem Globetrotters who provided a night of super fun family entertainment for my son, nephew, sister-in-law and me in Portland, ME. We loved the energy and diversity of the team and highly recommend it as a 5-star family experience if they are playing in a town near you!

My ask of the month

If you are a parent of a child with ADHD and feel as if contemporary parenting advice just doesn’t fit for your kiddo, I have great news--the amazing Dr Emily Edlynn is offering an intimate group coaching program just for you! Using proven strategies, she will help you identify and execute a clear plan in a validating and supportive environment. You can learn more by clicking here.

I’d love to hear from you if you want to connect.

Hang tough, peeps, we’ve got this.