Hey everybody, it’s Jill here.
As a therapist and coach, I have a treasure trove of go-to tools I love using with clients. Occasionally, a favorite falls off my radar and when I rediscover it, it’s like finding a surprise $20 bill in my pocket. Recently, this occurred with one of my most-loved values excises, The Sweet Spot, created by OG ACT-or, Kelly Wilson. The Sweet Spot is incredibly simple, yet uncovers so much rich information about values, I thought I’d share it here so you can experience it too.
The Sweet Spot Values Exercise (adapted from The Big Book of ACT Metaphors, Stoddard & Afari, 2014)
Think of a moment in your life where you experienced sweetness. An experience you had where maybe you let go of the struggle with your thoughts and feelings, even if just for a little bit. It doesn’t have to be the biggest or most monumental thing that’s happened…or it could be….just pick any moment, big or small, recent or long ago, where you felt really present, engaged, or alive. Now you might find yourself engaging in a little mental ping pong, trying to choose the “right” or “best” moment. See if you can just notice that, and let go of that struggle, just settling on whatever sweet spot shows up.
Now I want you to take a minute to really notice all the details that were present in that moment—using the senses in your mind’s eye—what did you see and how did it appear? Was anyone with you? How did they appear? What kinds of sounds, smells, or tastes were there? How were you feeling? What were you thinking? Close your eyes and settle into the memory, letting the sweetness fill you up like a liquid. Let every cell of your body linger in the feeling of sweetness.
Now reflect on the things you noticed that might be important. Of all the many moments you could have chosen, you chose this one for a reason. What might it tell you about the things that matter to you most?
For example, one client of mine shared her experience of finishing a race she ran with good friends after overcoming a serious injury. Themes of accomplishment, perseverance, togetherness/shared experiences, and physical health arose in our discussion. I also pointed out to the client some of the difficult and painful things she must have endured to get to the point of finishing her race—muscle aches, injuries, sunburns, finding time in a busy schedule to train, running in bad weather, doubts about whether she’d be able to finish, anxiety about finding the race site and being on time, etc. And I said “I can’t help but notice that this whole process wasn’t easy, and yet those details didn’t really show up in your narrative, and it seems to me that honoring your body and sharing this accomplishment with your friends was important enough that you were willing to endure and accept some of these challenges. And it seems that despite these challenges, or maybe in part because of them, you were still able to find sweetness in those moments.”
Think of your own sweet spot and consider how this example might apply to some other areas of your life.
What I love most about doing this exercise is that not once has anyone chosen a sweet spot related to making money, moving up the corporate ladder, or acquiring material possessions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But when it comes to the moments we are most present, where we experience the greatest sweetness, the moments people choose are always about connections with other people, with animals, with nature, or overcoming obstacles.
I’d love to hear yours if you’re willing to share!
Resources for Wellbeing
If you are looking for therapy for anxiety or OCD, we are now able to see clients across most states. You can learn more at The Seaside Center for OCD and Anxiety website here.
If you are a clinician who wants to level-up your ACT skills, I have five on-demand CE’s you can find here. You can also find a plethora of ACT metaphors and experiential exercises, including The Sweet Spot, in my book The Big Book of ACT Metaphors.
If you are looking for skills to manage anxiety or imposter “syndrome,” you can check out my books for that here.
If you prefer to learn via podcast, check out interviews here.
My feel-goody of the month
There’s nothing better than a good laugh and these two things cracked me up harder than I’ve laughed in a long time. Twenty-seven hotdogs?! What?! And when I invited my cousin for Easter, I jokingly told her to tell her fiancé he had to dress like the Easter Bunny to be let in, and this is how they arrived at my front door. Absolute LEGENDS.
My gratitude of the month & sponsees of the month
This month I’m grateful to Scarlet Keyes and Kris Rogers-Scherr. Scarlett introduced me to Kris, and Kris agreed to share her Portsmouth, NH office with me. I adore spending Fridays in one of my favorite cities—especially when it includes happy hour with Scarlet and Kris at the end of the day!
Scarlet is a renowned speaker, author, award winning songwriter, podcast host, professor of songwriting at Berklee College of Music, and cancer survivor. If you want top-notch speaker for your organization, check her out.
Kris is a board-certified psychiatric mental health nurse-practitioner and certified nurse-midwife who offers integrative mental health care for teens and adults. If you want a caring prescriber who will take time and listen, Kris is your gal.
I’d love to hear from you if you want to connect.
